Rodger Jacobs Believes Thorson Would Pass Lie Detector

As Je’sus Quintana said in The Big Lebowski: “Laughable, man!” Just kidding Rodger, we love you.

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Excerpt from Rodger Jacobs’ 2009 article, titled “Depression 2.0″ from Enjoy. As a writer, how broke do you need to be before you decide to deal with Scott Thorson? Rodger tells us.

I had no tangible assets to speak of, no credit cards, no personal vehicle, no savings account, and maybe a hundred bucks in my checking account. As a freelance writer for over ten years, I had hit a bad stretch of road. The heyday of the freelancer was coming to an end—- the buck-a-word magazine assignments had become as fossilized as the prehistoric remains in the La Brea Tar Pits.

“This story is really, really hot, Rodger,” Thorson continued in his nasal whine. “But I need a lot of money. I’m totally tapped out after paying for the spinal surgery and the IRS has put a lien on my bank account. I’m really fucked.”

“How much money are you looking for, Scott?” I asked again, my irritation clearly palpable at this point. The mere idea of dodging into the ghetto of tabloids for a quick cash infusion represented a new personal low for me, but living “off the grid” often means making harsh ethical and moral decisions with little or no time to think, not with the landlord impatiently knocking at the door. “You have to set a price. How much do you want for the story?”

Thorson suggested a low four-figure sum and I laughed. “Scott, if your story checks out, that sum would be my finders fee. You would be getting three times that much, providing you pass a lie detector test.”

“Of course I would pass a lie detector test,” Thorson promised enthusiastically.

“I believe you.”

This must be in Pataskala Ohio..?

This must be in Pataskala Ohio..?